why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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