D3 body, D1 cock
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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