Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
