I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize