i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize