just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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