when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
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