You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
