So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
