Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
