im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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