I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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