One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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