i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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