I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize