I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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