can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
