Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's official drugs can't kill me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
