Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need to calm my uterus...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
