Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
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There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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