Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
