Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
