Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
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She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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