If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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