I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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