Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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