We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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