i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
