i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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