She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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