): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
