if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
