There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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