i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
