OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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