Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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