I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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