Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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