just tell him i said nine months
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize