After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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