Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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