My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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