This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
