If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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