So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
