dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
PANTIES FOUND
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