I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
