His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
