OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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