Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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