why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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