dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize