is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just had sex on a roof
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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