Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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