So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
