I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
