First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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