Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
