also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
