dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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