Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
