have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
